Day 45 – The Monkey Mailman


No one was quite sure how the package got shipped to the Burlington Arms, let alone what to do with it once it arrived. The staff received the largish crate, addressed to an individual who was not, and seemingly never had been, residing at the hotel, and put it in the office to be dealt with later. Before that later arrived, scratching was heard inside the box, and when Freddy, the most intrepid bellhop, knocked on it, screeching followed. It fell to Freddy to open the package.

No sooner had he pried a corner open than a monkey flew out, screaming as he leapt about the room, trailing fur and filth. After the better part of an hour attempting to broom what was presumed to be a banshee damned to haunt the hotel, Freddy hit upon the idea of coaxing cooperation from it using the more soothing power of a half eaten candy bar.

Given chocolate and nuts, the monkey became downright friendly. Freddy fashioned a diaper for him out of a restaurant napkin, and the monkey happily rode on Freddy’s shoulder onto the hotel floor. Whether this was proper or not became a secondary concern to how adorable the tiny fellow looked, and the Burlington Arms became his immediate adoptive home.

Some debate went into exactly what the monkey was. One guest offered that he was a chimp, whereas another asserted with some authority it was a cappuccino, which is a very smart type of monkey, very easily trained. Freddy endeavored then to teach what was soon christened Marvin the Monkey, for alliteration will have its way, the means by which he arrived at the hotel. Namely the mail. Which guest resided in what room, how to sort letters into mailboxes, all this Marvin learned. Naturally Marvin’s wardrobe was extended from napkin to miniature bellhop’s uniform, and with that authority, the monkey even signed for packages that arrived, scribbling nonsensically on delivery notices.

After many years of reliable and heartening service to the residents of the Burlington Arms, Freddy laid Marvin to rest underneath a monkey statue in the front garden, complete with plaque reading, “The greatest friends come into our lives by accident.”

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