Something of a time honored tradition took place in the woods behind Grant Park every generation. Though the fraternity was unspoken, if you had been a thirteen year old boy who walked your bike through those trees after class at Halley Junior High, you probably found it, too: the porn log.

It seemed to Phil his inevitable duty to carry on the time honored tradition of supplying a younger generation with the same titillating mental fodder that kick started his own hormonal anticipation of what sex would someday be, simultaneously putting his expectations in human form for the first time and making them utterly unlike reality.

The difficulty was in finding the correct medium. In his time, there were magazines stuffed in the hollow of the porn log. There was a classic vintage to that, the musty smell of warped paper and the grit dusting the pages, reminding the youths that what they were doing was, in every sense, dirty. But kids these days were too buried in glowing screens to enjoy the physicality of this classic approach.

So Phil hit on a compromise: he loaded a CD with tastefully provocative images, selected carefully from publications that were now practically antique. After wrestling somewhat over a proper label, he wrote something in keeping with the elegant flare of some of their euphemistic titles: “FOR GENTLEMEN.”

Long past dark one fall evening, Phil trekked to the hallowed spot. As he suspected, it was currently empty, so he carefully placed the disc inside the log, close enough to the edge that a glint of sunlight might distract a youth walking past. True, if it waited too long, the CD might not be read properly, scratched and dirtied by its surroundings, but perhaps all the better. These kids could enjoy a half discernible image of a naked woman just as he once did.

Walking back home with his flashlight, Phil could not help but feel a sense of pride in passing the metaphorical, erotic torch to a new crop of preteens. Though that thought, finally solidified, did shake him somewhat, he reassured himself that he wasn’t necessarily distributing pornography to minors. Just about anyone could find it there.